Blame the Dog

Blame the dog

I hear it all the time, “he’s so stubborn“, “she only does it when she wants to”, “I watch him look at me and think about whether or not he wants to listen to me”. 

Humans are very quick to label their dogs as stubborn or “not listening”, but what if we stop blaming the dog?

Stubbornness is a human trait that requires a brain and an ego large enough to make a conscious decision not to do something despite us knowing that we should or need to. As much as we would like to think our dogs are being stubborn when they don’t do what we ask them to, their brains are simply not complex enough. To read more about what we label as stubborn in our dogs, check out my blog post on stubborn dogs HERE.

But what about the “not listening”? 

The thing is, dogs do what works. Dogs do what has the strongest reinforcement history. Dogs do what they need to when they have big feelings.

For example…

A dog who is enjoying time in the yard, and looks when his person calls him, but he doesn’t come isn’t “not listening” but instead responding to previous experiences. 

Maybe in the past when he was called, not coming had been reinforced by say, being chased by his humans when he didn’t come and he loved that game, resulting in him being reinforced for not coming. 

Or maybe he chased a squirrel when he didn’t come when called and he enjoy that activity, again, being reinforced for not coming. 

Or maybe he was smelling something really gross when his person called and he didn’t come because enjoying sniffing was more reinforcing. 

Behavior that’s reinforced will be repeated so your dog isn’t sitting there wondering whether or not they want to “listen” to you, they are simply remembering and doing what is the most reinforcing. 

Would you say you aren’t listening if you chose a job that payed you $250 an hour vs. one that pays $100 an hour even if someone tells you to take the $100 an hour job? 

Maybe your dog, who refuses to look at you when you say her name because she’s nervous around people or other dogs and taking her eyes off of them on a walk to look at you is not something she feel safe doing, isn't “not listening”  but is struggling with big feelings, and simply not able to perform the behavior you’re asking her for because of those big feelings. 

Would you label yourself as “not listening” if someone told you to recite the alphabet while in a room filled with spiders that you are terrified of and you couldn’t because you were too afraid? 

So let’s make a deal, let’s stop blaming the dog. 

Let’s start taking responsibility for our own understanding of learning theory and operant conditioning and how that applies to teaching behaviors to our dogs. 

Let’s take responsibility and learn our dog’s body language, so that if they are struggling with emotions that are preventing them from performing behaviors were asking for we know their emotional state before we even ask him for a behavior and we have realistic expectations of what our dog is capable of when they have that particular emotional state. 

Because you see, it’s easy to blame the dog. 

But learning, understanding, and adjusting your expectations, those are the things that require time, effort, and patience. 

If there’s anyone who’s worth it after all, it’s our dogs. 

Sara Sokol is owner of Mr. Dog Training in Brunswick Maine; A positive reinforcement dog training facility, offering both virtual and in person classes, that has been voted best training in Maine for 9 years in a row.